Why I'm not taking pictures anymore

I was shooting a lot since 1997. I made dozens of thousands of photos since then. On film, then on digital. People liked them, loved them envied them. I printed them, exposed them on numerous websites, stored them on CDs, then DVDs. I spent hours and days rearranging, improving. I read magazines, books. I learnt Photoshop. I had many many different cameras. One is always more expensive and more advanced than the previous. Now my camera bag weights at least 5 kilos, holding big expensive digital camera, 3 big and 1 small lens, big flash and other little stuff.

And so what? Am I happy with all this? I don't think so. Because I'm not shooting anymore.

And since this hobby occupied a big part of my life - and now it's not part of it anymore - I seek to understand why.

I always thought that good equipment is necessary to make good shots. Yes and no. There are things good equipment gives you:

1. The freedom for your creativity - better camera normally has less limitations.

2. The feeling of superiotiry over the mainstream - "I have a camera that costs a fortune. I'm cool"

3. If you know how to avoid 2, then good camera just gives you more self assurance, more stability.

Now when I posess almost all the equipment I wanted - I have all 3 points above. Becoming elder, I tend to feel 3 more than 2. But I honestly recall feeling only 2 some time ago.

I'm not really taking pictures though. What is the problem?

There is something else that I need to take pictures. It is this inner drive. The force that empowers you to go, look for new, unopen.

Why I don't have this drive anymore? I guess it's not anymore important to me.

I made some progress over last few months undestanding my place in life, my role, my mission. But I didn't yet succeded in interating photography into these concepts. Subconsiously I know photography IS part of my life. But I didn't find reason for it.

So if I feel photography shoud be there - I need to find a way to integrate it into my life concept.